Kai Mawaru
Posts : 23 Join date : 2010-07-16
Character sheet Name: Kai Mawaru Affiliation: Kumogakure Rank: ANBU
| Subject: Kai Mawaru [Done] Fri Jul 16, 2010 6:47 am | |
| Personal InformationBirthdate: August 12 Birthsign: Leo Name: Kai Mawaru Nickname: N/A Personality: -Calm -Strict -Serious At Work -Respectful Likes: -Learning -Training -Peace Dislikes: -War -Annoying People Physical InformationGender: Male Age: 18 Height: 5'87 Weight: 58lbs Hair Color: Black Eye Color: Balck General Appearance: - Spoiler:
Clan InformationClan: Mawaru Kekke Genkai/Hiden: Storm Release Head of the Household: Hizashi Mawaru Social InformationFamily: - Friends: - Ninja StatusAffiliation: Kumogakure Ninja Registration: 125489 Rank: ANBU Class: A-Rank Academy Graduation Age: 8 Chunin Promotion Age: 11 Chakra InformationNature: Wind and Lightning Specialization: Ninjutsu JutsuBasic Jutsu-Replacement Technique -Clone Technique -Body Flicker Technique -Transformation Technique - Spoiler:
Type: Ninjutsu Nature: Storm Rank: D Class: Supplementary Name: Flash Bang (Hibana) Description: It is used in a similar manner as the Body Replacement Technique, instead however, when the body replaces itself with an object, the process isn't a cloud of smoke, but a burst of light that can temporary blind someone, and even burn them a little. Perquisite(s): This technique requires the user be able to use Storm Release. Limitations: --
Type: Ninjutsu Nature: Storm Rank: C Class: Offensive Name: Storm Release: Laser Beam (Ranton: Reiza Koosen) Description: The user focuses light-infused chakra (Storm nature) at the tip of his/her finger, then he/she fires an accurate, and speedy beam of condensed energy at their opponent. This beam can reflect off of glass, and other materials. Perquisite(s): In order to use this technique again, the user must blow at his/her fingertips, blowing chakra at the tip of their finger in order to fire it again - similarly to blowing a gun's smoke after firing. Limitations: Depending on the amount of chakra kneaded into the technique this beam can be larger or smaller. The more intense it is the more destructive it will become, and the sharper it is, the more it will bounce off of other structures.
Type: Ninjutsu Nature: Storm Rank: C Class: Defensive, Supplementary, Collaborative Name: Iron Mayhem (Tetsu Soodoo) Description: Using the user's chakra control, he/she is capable of shaping their Storm chakra into shield-like apparitions that form in front of their forearms, and move along with the users arms in order to work like shields. They are capable of protecting from Iron, and most weaponry - however, the shields can be destroyed after taking too much damage. They can also give protection to the user from quite a lot of Ninjutsu usually ranging from D-B rank. Perquisite(s): Decent chakra control. Limitations: The Shields will eventually be destroyed with enough impact, but, they withstand quite a lot from weapons, but, when it comes to ninjutsu attacks, they can and will deplete faster, depending on the user. 3 posts duration, 4 posts CD.
Type: Ninjutsu Nature: Storm Rank: B Class: Offensive Name: Storm Release: Laser Circus (Ranton: Reiza Sākasu) Description: The user uses his/her Storm Release to create several bright beams of electricity that shoot at their enemy. A halo of bright energy spreads from the user's hands as he/she uses this technique. The beams are able to alter their direction after being shot. Perquisite(s): It requires decent chakra control from the Mawaru Clansman to control the beams instead of simply making a destructive barrage of lasers. Limitations: 4 posts duration, 8 posts cooldown.
Type: Taijutsu Nature: Storm Rank: B Class: Offensive Name: Storm Maximun Style (Ranton Maximun Yooshiki) Description: The user fights with the usually aggressive Kumogakure fighting styles, but, the Mawaru Clan have used these fighting styles to their advantage, by teaching their Clansmen to exert rays of light from their bodies in the midst of fighting. The user releases surges of flashy light, or damaging light from their chakra system, and they use these bursts of light to distract their foe(s) as well as induce extra damage onto the foe externally. Perquisite(s): Only when the Head of Household sees one fit to learn such a fighting style does he/she either instruct them him/herself or get an older Clansman to instruct him/her further. It requires chakra control, and the ability to fight ruthlessly and with maximum physical power. Limitations: This style requires the user to remain focused on his opponent, only masters of it have been shown capable of focusing on all their opponents while fighting - it's difficult due to the collaborative chakra control needed by the Clansman. Depending on the level of the fighter, these bursts of light will be brighter or smaller, and will be less or more dangerous. 6 posts limit , cooldown 6 posts.
Type: Ninjutsu Nature: Storm Rank: B Class: Defensive Name: Harassing Dome of Light (Urusai Doomu no Akarui) Description: Similarly to the Iron Mayhem technique, the user shapes his/her Storm chakra into a large, and luminescent dome that covers all around them, and even has a foundation to protect from below-inside the dome. This works as quite an impressive defense, and will counter all normal weaponry, as well as hurt those who try using physical force. It also protects the user from many D-A rank techniques, but, like its predecessor it will weaken in time. A master of this technique is capable of firing lasers from within the dome, to those outside - light can still pass through the dome. Perquisite(s): The user must have a mastered chakra control. Limitations: Nearly impenetrable to physical force, this dome can still be destroyed after taking a few 'powerful' hits from the user's opponent - in order to combat this weakness, the user however, can fire lasers from the dome. 4 posts duration, 6 posts CD.
Type: Ninjutsu Nature: Storm Rank: A Class: Offensive Name: Fury of the Storm (Gekijou no Ranton) Description: The user takes a bit of time to focus a lot of their chakra in the center of both their palms, their palms aimed at the target(s), eventually their chakra builds up, and constructs a highly intense light that surrounds an even more intense spherical structure. Using quite a lot of chakra, the user fires all the condensed energy outwards at their opponent(s), and as the beam gets further and further it dilates, and spirals -becoming more, and more like a horizontal tornado of very destructive light. The blast can go as far as 25m (82ft). The power of the blast is capable of destroying all in its path, even the terrain itself. Perquisite(s): It takes one post of charging it up in order to use it, but, it takes two posts of charging it up to use it at its current maximum potential (varying with ones own chakra reserves). Limitations: 1 post to charge up, 2 posts duration, 4 posts CD.
Type: Ninjutsu Nature: Storm Rank: A Class: Offensive, Defensive Name: Ever Rotating Rays of Light (Ebaa Junkan Koosen no Akarui) Description: The user activates this technique by placing his/her index and middle finger on the same hand in front of their face. Then, with their utmost concentration, the user creates squares of light - a master can create up to 16 of them. Each row of squares (four rows of four squares) begin rotating around the user, and raditating light. These squares take the form of golden-white glowing mirrors. On the user's control, these mirrors can cast powerful beams of light at opponents, whilst protecting the user all at the same time. Each mirror of light works as a powerful defense, as well as a powerful offense. The beams of light that the mirrors fire off at their targets can be controlled by a master of this technique. For the first three posts of this techniques activation, the mirrors will automatically reflect any Ninjutsu techniques back at the ones who attacked. After three posts they simply work as a mighty offense, and a mighty defense. Perquisite(s): Limitations: Three posts upon activation, these mirrors automatically reflect any (up to) A rank Ninjutsu, after three posts, they can still work like powerful lasers, as well as powerful rotating mirrors of defensive force. Upon activation, this technique lasts 10 posts in a thread, after 15 posts, it can be used once more.
Type: Nijutsu Nature: Wind Rank: A Class:Offensive Name: Wind Release: Beast Wave Palm Description: A powerful jutsu that uses large amounts of wind nature chakra that can cut and slash through any material. Sora activates it by summoning chakra in his right hand, and then swipes a slicing chakra wave which appears to be controlled by Sora's will and thoughts. Sora is able to use this jutsu in rapid succession. Limitations: 2 posts limit, 6 posts cooldown.
Type: Ninjutsu Nature: Lightning Rank: A Class: Offensive Name: Lightning Release: Wave of Inspiration Description: The user generates a large amount of electricity in their hands, which can then be released into conductive materials to shock their foes. A lightning technique of equal power can neutralize it, such as Chidori Current. Limitiation: The damage of this technique depends on the chakra of the user, but in all the ways the user must wait 6 posts to use it again. 3 posts limit.
Type: Ninjutsu Nature: Wind Rank: A Class: Offensive Name: Wind Release: Vacuum Great Sphere Description: A stronger version of the Wind Release: Vacuum Sphere, the user launches a large, explosive bullet of wind chakra from their mouth. The blasts are capable of piercing into an opponent's flesh, similar to bullets. It is similar to Wind Release: Vacuum Wave, but instead of shooting one large blast, it shoots several smaller ones. Limitation: 4 posts CD, 4 posts limit. Additional Jutsu - ArsenalNinja Tools: 20 Kunai's 15 Shuriken 6 Explosive tags 10 Smoke Bombs Primary Weapon:- Secondary Weapon: - Biography & RP-SampleBiography:Kai was born in Kumogakure, his father died in a mission, he was also ANBU and his mother deceded when he was 14. Kai was a hard-working academy student, his goal in life was to step on his father's steps and be ANBU to protect his village from any other shinobis. Kai gratuated when he was 8 nad kept working to complete his trip in this cold and hard life. Then he took the Chuunin exam and passed it in the age of 11. Kai was from Mawaru clan so he often uses Storm release like all of his clan members. Raikage knew his father and he noticed that the kid Kai was like his father in everything so he trusted that he can do a good job as ANBU. In the age of 18, Raikage chose and hired Kai as ANBU and said to him" I trust you young man, you're just like father, brave smart and strong. So I hope you do a good job and protect your village." Kai thought that his father will be proud of him, and he was very glad to have that in his mind, he used that idea like a fuel to make him keep working and developing. RP-Sample: Kai was sitting on a tree branch, staring at the sky, thinking of his father being proud to be ANBU like his father. Suddenly, a kunai was thrown at him so he quickly blocked it with a kunai, then jumped in the air landing on the ground silently. A shinobi came out from shadows " You're always awake like your dead father!" "How did you know my father?" said Kai, the shinobi laughed saying " It seems you dont know the truth, Im the one who killed him' Kai was chocked he fastly, without thinking did the handsigns and yelled " Fury of storm!" he focused a lot of chakra in the center of his both palms and aimed to the shinobi, the chakra made two spheres of light that kai shot on the killer of his father. The shinobi was hit badly he disapeared without letting anything behind him. Kai ran toward the Raikege's office very fast and knocked the door, the raikage let him in. Kai said " Sir, I have a personal new!" "What is it?" said Raikage " I just met the one who killed my father! I attacked him and I hit him very bad so he had to ran away." answered Kai. The Raikage shouted " Oh my god! Ill take care of that by my self." then he walked out of his office.
Last edited by Kai Mawaru on Fri Jul 16, 2010 10:51 pm; edited 3 times in total | |
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Hayato Hyuga Jonin of Kirigakure
Posts : 107 Join date : 2010-06-28 Age : 30 Location : This time...
Character sheet Name: Hayato Hyuga Affiliation: Kirigakure Rank: Jonin Commander
| Subject: Re: Kai Mawaru [Done] Fri Jul 16, 2010 8:30 am | |
| Well there's a few things:
1) How come your char graduated from Academy without the 3 basic jutsus ?
2) The last 3 jutsus need their limitations explained a bit more detailed like the Storm techniques
3) Explain Wind Release: Great Vacuum Sphere a bit more, though I know that jutsu but for other members and mods. Explain it's effects and a bit more description please
4) I am not sure but Storm Maximum Style is usually given permission by the head of household but since the head of the household is a NPC I think and you are an ANBU then there is no problem having it. Kiri correct me if I am wrong about this one =/
Edit those and I will see to it again. | |
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Kai Mawaru
Posts : 23 Join date : 2010-07-16
Character sheet Name: Kai Mawaru Affiliation: Kumogakure Rank: ANBU
| Subject: Re: Kai Mawaru [Done] Fri Jul 16, 2010 8:44 am | |
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Karasu Uchiha The Last Uchiha
Posts : 68 Join date : 2010-06-21
Character sheet Name: Karasu Uchiha Affiliation: Kirigakure Rank: Genin
| Subject: Re: Kai Mawaru [Done] Fri Jul 16, 2010 11:45 am | |
| Alright Kai, I will continue reviewing your app so we can get you approved as soon as possible, Thanks for your help Hayato Hyuga:
1. First of all you do not need to start out with three basic Jutsu though I recommend you do so, as they can be very helpful when Role playing. I recommend at least 1or 2 of the basic Jutsu.
2. For your Birthsign, it revolves around the Zodiac please change this.
3. Please make yourself at least 18 if you wish to be at ANBU rank.
4. Storm Release: Laser Beam (Ranton: Reiza Koosen)- needs a limit and cooldown.
5. Iron Mayhem (Tetsu Soodoo)- you need a duration, and cooldown.
6. Storm Release: Laser Circus (Ranton: Reiza Sākasu)- needs a duration, and cooldown.
7. Storm Maximun Style (Ranton Maximun Yooshiki)- needs a limit and cooldown.
8. Harassing Dome of Light (Urusai Doomu no Akarui)- needs a duration, and cooldown.
9. Fury of the Storm (Gekijou no Ranton)- please be less specific with the duration, charge, and cooldown. This technique needs 1 Post to charge up so please state that on limitations.
10. Wind Release: Beast Wave Palm- needs a limit.
11. Lightning Release: Wave of Inspiration- needs a limit.
12. Vacuum Great Sphere- please be less specific on the limit.
13. In your biography, 14 is too young to be accepted as an ANBU please change this.
14. You will need a longer Biography and RP-Sample since your applying for an ANBU posistion:
Biography- Must be 5-8 Sentences.
RP-Sample- Must be 8-11 Sentences.
Once you have made these changes I will take a second look at your application. | |
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Kai Mawaru
Posts : 23 Join date : 2010-07-16
Character sheet Name: Kai Mawaru Affiliation: Kumogakure Rank: ANBU
| Subject: Re: Kai Mawaru [Done] Fri Jul 16, 2010 12:44 pm | |
| Fixed again and I hope its good this time. | |
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Karasu Uchiha The Last Uchiha
Posts : 68 Join date : 2010-06-21
Character sheet Name: Karasu Uchiha Affiliation: Kirigakure Rank: Genin
| Subject: Re: Kai Mawaru [Done] Fri Jul 16, 2010 2:41 pm | |
| There is still a few things you need to correct, but good improvement:
1. Storm Release: Laser Beam (Ranton: Reiza Koosen), I apologize for my mistake, I don't see why you would need a limit or cooldown so simply state their is no limitations.
2. Wind Release: Beast Wave Palm- Since it uses large amounts of wind nature chakra I am going to have to ask you to make the limitations: 2 Post Limit, 6 Post Cooldown.
3. Lightning Release: Wave of Inspiration- Needs to have: 3 Post Limit, 6 Post Cooldown as it is a very powerful technique.
4. Wind Release: Vacuum Great Sphere- Don't need a duration. However please make the Post Limit 4 and Cooldown 4.
Once you have made these changes I will take a third look at your application. | |
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Kai Mawaru
Posts : 23 Join date : 2010-07-16
Character sheet Name: Kai Mawaru Affiliation: Kumogakure Rank: ANBU
| Subject: Re: Kai Mawaru [Done] Fri Jul 16, 2010 10:51 pm | |
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Cailina Global Moderator
Posts : 261 Join date : 2010-06-22 Age : 31 Location : The Sky!
Character sheet Name: Cailina Payne Affiliation: Kumogakure Rank: Chunin
| Subject: Re: Kai Mawaru [Done] Fri Jul 16, 2010 11:26 pm | |
| If no one sees anything wrong with the application, I'm going to approve it.
Approved | |
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